


Senshi’s List

by YuriNoShoujo



Series: They Did WHAT?! [1]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Comedy, Multi, Noodle Incidents, Romance, Skippy’s List, They Did WHAT, list format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:42:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriNoShoujo/pseuds/YuriNoShoujo
Summary: Sailor Moon ala Skippy’s listOrAn As Yet Undetermined Number Of Things Our Beloved “Heroes” Are Not Allowed To DoThis is just something stupid and happy because we kinda need stupid and happy right now





	1. Senshi Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Skippy’s list was a list of things that Commander Schwartz was not allowed to do in the military...a list of over two hundred items.
> 
> This is not the the real Skippy’s list, no. This is just a tribute.
> 
> Same goes for the senshi...

1\. Trying to steal Mako’s cookies just after they’d been baked only results in a burned hand and a very annoyed chef —Usagi

2. My proper title is Sailor Jupiter, not “The Talented One”—Makoto

3\. Not allowed to bring alcohol to Senshi Meetings—Mina

4\. Not allowed to use said alcohol to start a campfire—Rei 

5\. Never again shall I use any of the following to help set up any of my friends on dates: panda cosplay, hot sauce, an exploding karaoke machine, idol cds and/or inflatable pools—Mina

6\. Not allowed to disclose secret identity to a crowd—Ami

7\. Not allowed to end all my sentences with “according to the eternal flame”—Rei

8\. Not allowed to challenge people to a race on foot or any type of vehicle—Haruka

9\. No spoilers, so stop asking for them—Setsuna

10\. Using extensive philosophical knowledge is not going to get me out of drinking milk—Hotaru

11\. Not allowed to use catnip to sneak out and see Mamo-Chan overnight—Usagi

12\. Must attempt not to seduce Haruka in public—Michiru

13\. Not allowed to seduce anyone else to make Haruka jealous in public—Michiru

14\. Don’t take the batteries out of either Usagi’s or Minako’s alarm clock (Even if said alarm clocks aren’t being used properly)—Ami

15\. Must not make fun of Setsuna’s nickname—Makoto

16\. Not allowed to make fun of Haruka-papa crying after the James Bond cars blow up again—Hotaru

17\. Sending people back in time, while not illegal, is highly unethical and detrimental to the current timeline—Setsuna

18\. The Mercury Computer is not to be used to discover the names of my academic rivals—Ami

19\. Not allowed to tell people that they will be used in the next cake recipe as a threat—Makoto

20\. Declaring you have a better manicure than Michiru Kaioh is unwise...—Minako

21\. Not allowed to behave in a homicidal manner towards teammates—Michiru

22\. I am not the reincarnation of Jesus—Haruka

23\. I am not to bring alcohol to ANY senshi event—Minako

24\. Not allowed to repeat anything my parents said while drunk—Hotaru

25\. Must not use only Sherlock quotes during a Senshi meeting—Setsuna

26\. “If you panic you will only die faster” is not an empathetic way to talk to people—Ami

27\. Must not mistake Australian Wildlife for Youma—Makoto

28\. Must not use crows against vandals excessively—Rei

29\. Not allowed to try to “Spice Up” sailor fukus—Minako

30\. Not allowed to cook curry unattended—Usagi

31\. Minako is not to be used as a source of love knowledge—Makoto

32\. Not allowed to “borrow” Rei’s stash of Yuri magazines—Ami

33\. “A talking cat” is not the sort of reference I am allowed to use on my assignments—Hotaru

34\. Must not kiss Haruka in front of Michiru—Minako

35\. Must not suggest threesome after seeing someone else kiss Haruka—Michiru 

36\. Creating a “dummy” study page so it looks like I’m working is not allowed—Usagi

37\. Not allowed burn every copy of my school uniform—Haruka 

38\. Setsuna is not a Grandmother, yet—Minako

39\. Rudeness is no reason to use Burning Mandala—Rei

40\. If I tell Haruka I wish for her to pose for a sketch, a sketch must be created—Michiru

41\. Must not compare non- humans to my Senpai around others—Makoto

42\. Not allowed to show Belladonna of Sadness as a sleepover movie—Minako

43\. Not allowed to teleport away from awkward situations—Setsuna

44\. Phone conversations with Setsuna now have a four-hour time limit—Ami

45\. Must not flirt with opponents girlfriends before a race. Or after—Haruka

46\. Not allowed to let Chibiusa in after 9pm—Hotaru

47\. If a couple shares a bedroom: knock—Makoto

48\. Screaming only makes a walk-in worse—Usagi

49\. “The Plan” should not involve dragons in any way—Minako

50\. Must not procure Sailor V doujinshi—Rei

 


	2. What a Cat-astrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, the writers block is not better...*suddenly overly happy* SO HERE’S THE NEXT 50...yeah...
> 
> Mamoru and the cats have joined the party! 
> 
> And I’m gonna try and do something stupid...start to add a plot in here.
> 
> And don’t worry, not all of these things have actually been done...some are just preemptive measures (try to figure out which is which). 
> 
> OH YEAH...I almost forgot! This series is gonna start from the end of the manga (but may reference past events from both the anime and manga, and will predominantly use anime characterisation).

51\. “Ami Mizuno’s brain” is not an accepted citation—Usagi

 

52\. Neither is “Mamoru Chiba’s brain”—Usagi

 

53\. Not allowed to have catnip in human form—Artemis

 

54\. Under no circumstances should anyone attempt to enter Michiru Kaioh’s painting studio without her permission (Haruka Tenoh is the exception to this rule)—Mamoru

 

55\. Teammate’s significant others also belong the homocidal behaviour ban—Michiru

 

56\. When listening to a friends love problems, saying “you’re doing better than me, at least there are no fatalities yet”, is in no way a good idea—Minako

 

57\. It is unadvisable to talk about relationship problems without comfort food—Makoto

 

58\. Alcohol in human form=catnip in cat form. No need to repeat experiment—Luna

 

59\. Not allowed to ask Haruka to provide alcohol to a senshi event—Minako

 

60\. Strip chess, poker or Trivial Pursuit are not to be played past underwear unless I am alone with Michiru—Haruka

 

61\. Strip Trivial Pursuit now has a handicap if I am an opponent—Ami

 

62\. Any one with a Y chromosome is to be vacated as quickly as possible if it is clear that any game involving stripping is about to happen—Mamoru & Artemis 

 

63\. I will not destroy gym property. Even after a visit from my father—Rei

 

64\. No one needs to know what I plan to do with fifteen metres of rope, a fruit roll-up, thirty-seven bootleg CDs, a bed frame, a circuit, some wiring, and fifty-four kilos of genetically modified squid—Ami

 

65\. Not allowed to ask Ami Mizuno and Hotaru Tomoe to build anything with me without supervision, proper hazmat gear and a voice of reason—Setsuna

 

66\. Not allowed to cook, even in human form—Artemis

 

67\. Threats to damage someone more than they did your kitchen are not acceptable—Makoto

 

68\. I am not “Blue Wind”—Haruka 

 

69\. There is a line between sparring with Haruka and sex—Michiru

 

70\. Not allowed to call Artemis to distract Luna to sneak out to Mamo-Chan’s—Usagi

 

71\. Not allowed to read Michiru-mama’s romance novels—Hotaru

 

72\. Keep it PG rated when someone asks you for dating advice—Haruka

 

73\. It is unwise to ask Haruka how she and Michiru got together without a cold shower afterwards—Makoto

 

74\. Making the competitive side of any of your fellow guardians flare up only results in pain and suffering—Minako

 

75\. Not allowed to host Pokémon tournaments at the shrine—Rei

 

76\. No more fourth wall breaks in this horrible fan fiction until the fourth chapter—Michiru

 

77\. No breaking the brains of preschoolers—Ami

 

78\. Not allowed to eat more than a quarter of the food provided—Usagi

 

79\. I am not allowed to use human subjects on any experiments on stable time loops—Setsuna

 

80\. Learning Greek mythology does not mean I can make Uranus jokes. Even if they aren’t the obvious ones—Minako

 

81\. Not allowed to add to Minako’s Uranus jokes—Michiru

 

82\. I am not to use myself as a method of scaring anyone superstitious—Luna

 

83\. The “Hamberger incident” never happened—Makoto

 

84\. Not allowed to teach English curse words to minors—Minako

 

85\. Not allowed to take a furby to Senshi meetings (this is an actual military rule)—Hotaru

 

86\. “Mars Flame Sniper” is not to be used on toys—Rei

 

87\. Not allowed to go to jewellery stores without Setsuna—Haruka

 

88\. Not allowed to let Haruka go overbudget with any of Michiru’s gifts—Setsuna

 

89\. “Moon Tiara Action” should only be done with a tiara—Usagi

 

90\. Make sure then roses don’t hit balloons if you want to look cool—Mamoru

 

91\. Not allowed to start showing off in front of my opponent’s girlfriend—Haruka

 

92\. Not allowed to start flirting with Haruka’s opponent in response—Michiru 

 

93\. Not allowed to sing songs released next year—Setsuna

 

94\. Don’t reveal to your teammates that you have a date with a girl and expect them to not question you—Rei

 

95\. Don’t allow grandfather to meet said girl—Rei

 

96\. Act civil if a friend is dating your ex—Michiru

 

97\. Not allowed to talk in the vicinity of Rei’s new girlfriend—Luna and Artemis

 

98\. While it shows support for my friends relationship, squealing also damages her eardrums—Usagi

 

99\. Do not mention to Rei’s new girlfriend how she and I met—Makoto 

 

100\. Swearing when you see the faces of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh (and a bunch of other people you met once) is no way react when you are at the shrine to pick up your date—Elsa Grey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re 56 (the romance fatalities one)...I may or may not have actually said that to someone, recently.
> 
> Ahh and the plot I planned has MUTATED! 
> 
> SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	3. We Should Have Already Learned This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School themed ones! 
> 
> I hope everyone still likes these...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again IM BAAAAACK
> 
> I’ve tried extrapolating one of these into a larger story so far, time will tell what else I’ll do...
> 
> Til then enjoy!

101\. Haruka accidently wearing your very short school skirt is most certainly an excuse to make-out with her. However, there is a time and a place to do such and in class is neither—Michiru 

 

102\. Not allowed to go undercover in Rei’s school again—Minako

 

103\. Must check beforehand that the algebra problem I just spent half-an-hour helping Usagi with is actually going on the exam—Ami

 

104\. Not allowed to schedule dates when Rei-chan’s friends have a study session just after—Elsa

 

105\. Belladonna of Sadness is not to be used as an analysis for literature—Minako

 

106\. Not allowed to use Ami as a study tool—Everyone but Ami

 

107\. The Outer Senshi and Elsa Grey are not to come to the same study meetings—Haruka

 

108\. Not allowed to just sip tea with with Michiru and laugh as our significant others have a dildo measuring contest—Rei

 

109\. Using your human form around truancy officers during school time is not a good idea—Artemis

 

110\. Coming to class after both Usagi and Minako is not a good sign—Makoto

 

111\. Don’t just enroll in the Advanced Cooking Classes just because they have better food—Usagi

 

112\. Miss Haruna does NOT need you to point out her first grey hair—Minako

 

113\. Not allowed to wear Haruka-Papa’s racing jacket to school—Hotaru

 

114\. The teacher is not my mother—Ami

 

115\. Can’t fake sick just to talk with Puu—Chibiusa

 

116\. WE ARE NEVER GOING UNDERCOVER AS HIGHSCHOOLERS EVER AGAIN, ARTEMIS—Luna

 

117\. Asking schoolfriends for love advice...just don’t do it—Makoto

 

118\. Showing how much harder University work is only puts the girls even further off studying—Setsuna

 

119\. Keep the Latin to a minimum when discussing human biology with the others—Ami and Mamoru

 

120\. Not allowed to hold baby Hotaru and study at the same time. Even if she is cute—Haruka 

 

121\. In no way am I allowed to use my powers of precognition to tell you the answers to ANY test, so don’t ask!—Rei

 

122\. Making up songs to remember things is great. Singing them out loud in exams is not—Minako

 

123\. Although it is safe to read the manga that Usagi hides behind her study notes...it is not the same for what Michiru hides behind her music notes—Luna

 

124\. The homocidal tendencies clause has been extended to include ally animals and extraterrestrials—Michiru

 

125\. The less said about THAT class the better—Makoto

 

126\. Not allowed to make bets with anyone over how many people fall asleep in English—Usagi

 

127\. Stay out of Minako’s room the night before an assignment is due—Artemis

 

128\. Not allowed to start an assignment the night before it’s due—Minako

 

129\. It is unadvisable to offer yourself up for blood caffeine level testing when you are a medical student—Mamoru

 

130\. It is also unadvisable to talk about cadavers over a lunch date—Mamoru

 

131\. Don’t retch when Mamo-chan mentions anything about his degree—Usagi

 

132\. No declaring academic war on Umino—Ami

 

133\. Don’t ask any of the other Senshi if they know anything about religious studies—Rei

 

134\. Misquoting the bible is the second worst thing you can do at TA academy—Elsa

 

135\. Asking how simliar it is to Maria-sama ga Miteru is the absolute worst—Makoto

 

137\. Not allowed to dose homework in catnip so Luna will destroy it—Usagi

 

138\. There is a line between study dates and actual dates—Rei

 

139\. Not allowed to fake sick to see Hotaru...her mum’s a nurse!—Chibiusa

 

140\. Not allowed to use video games as a study tool—Haruka

 

141\. During exam week I will try to be slightly less nocturnal—Setsuna

 

142\. Not allowed to set of any kind of prank during the exam—Minako

 

143\. Not allowed to use my cookies as bribery for finishing homework—Makoto

 

144\. Don’t discuss the answers after the exam—Usagi

 

145\. Make sure you press skip on lullabies when playing Michiru’s CDs and trying to study—Haruka

 

146\. Not allowed to compose lullabies during exam time—Michiru 

 

147\. Not allowed to see how many prayers at the shrine are for good grades—Ami

 

148\. Must. Not. Get. Distracted.—Makoto

 

149\. You passed Mamoru.—Everyone else

 

150\. Miss Haruna will kill you if you call her Mum—Usagi

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next chapter...MWAHAHA  
> I’m going to obliterate canon and the fourth wall!


	4. No Fourth Wall? No Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whereupon canon is thrown out the window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried in the first three chapters to at least kind of keep in canon. Yeah not for this chapter...
> 
> If you need any help with the references just ask in the comments!
> 
> I’m actually trying to write a longer original work at the moment about a bunch of superheroes, so updated for this lil series might be less common. Thankyou all for reading this, it has helped with my writers block!

101\. Not allowed to extrapolate on my relationship with the 8th Doctor-Setsuna

 

102\. I am not Major Katsuragi. Or Juri Arisagawa. Or Excel Excel.-Usagi

 

103\. That naked sketching scene from Adolescence of Utena totally had nothing to do with us! There is no way that pair of idiot bisexuals are based off us!-Haruka and Michiru

 

104\. Not allowed to talk about what happened at Seiran academy while my mother was there—Makoto

 

105\. Not allowed to call the story of Steven Universe a rip off of my story...even if it totally is!-Hotaru

 

106\. Not allowed to enter non-Marvel franchises with the intent of making out with the hot rock lady villains—Deadpool

 

107\. It is unadvisable to repeatedly electrocute someone who can regenerate, even if they stole your cooking and made out with Queen Beryl in your lounge-Makoto

 

108\. Not allowed to question why I am dating Rei in this universe—Elsa

 

109\. Not allowed to write by the seat of my pants...—Author

 

110\. Not allowed to question why Rei Ayanami was named after me—Rei

 

111\. Not allowed to curse the director for cutting down my role—Mamoru

 

112\. Not allowed to advertise the Sailor Moon art books by saying there is Usagi in lingerie in them—Minako

 

113\. Not allowed to tape Minako’s mouth for the above comment—Mamoru

 

114\. Not allowed to ask why Kunihiko Ikuhara is cosplaying as Rei—Luna

 

115\. Not allowed to theorise that Michiru is a Slytherin—Usagi

 

116\. Not allowed to use Slytherinesque methods to get back at anyone who says that. And yes, those methods include murder—Michiru

 

117\. Must not taunt the other magical girl shows—Minako

 

118\. Must not question why there is so many lesbian magical girls—Makoto

 

119\. Must not make a sailor joke about the above comment—Haruka 

 

120\. Must not find the actual Skippy’s list—Ami

 

121\. Not allowed to write fan fiction when assignments are due—Author

 

122\. Must not taunt the Youma anymore—Rei

 

123\. Must not make any references to Frozen within fifteen feet of Ami Mizuno—Chibiusa

 

124\. Must attempt not to fall for the green alien lady that fell from the sky—Makoto

 

125\. WHY AM I IN A SAILOR MOON FANFIC???—She-Hulk

 

126\. Must not behave like the Greek goddess Artemis or pretend to be if interdimensional demigod travellers randomly show up

 

127\. Must not challenge Thor to arm wrestle, again—Makoto

 

128\. Not allowed to be left unsupervised with any Stark technology—Ami

 

129\. Not allowed to act as supervision for Ami with Stark technology—Setsuna

 

130\. Not allowed to steal Stark technology while everyone is distracted by Ami—Hotaru

 

131\. What happened on Asgard stays on Asgard-Rei

 

132\. Must not attempt to out-feast Asgardians—Usagi

 

133\. Not allowed to question why Wonder Woman isn’t here—Rei

 

134\. Not allowed to murder the Avengers before we find a way to send them back—Michiru

 

135\. Not allowed to plan a date for Peter Parker and Ami Mizuno

 

136\. Not allowed to go on said date as ‘security’—Haruka

 

137\. We really need to learn our lesson about eavesdropping on dates—Inner Senshi

 

138\. Not allowed to set traps for eavesdroppers—Hotaru

 

139\. Not allowed to send Avengers back in time just because they annoy you—Setsuna

 

140\. Not allowed to use Steve Togers innocence of this time and place against him—Minako

 

141\. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition—Hotaru

 

142\. Not allowed to make Monty Python jokes—Hotaru

 

143\. Not allowed to use Moon Tiara Action with Captain America’s sheild—Usagi

 

144\. Not allowed to use Thor’s Hammer to try and dislodge the sheild from a building—Makoto

 

145\. Not allowed to say how close in the near future that the hammer will be destroyed—Setsuna

 

146\. Not allowed to make Katya jokes...to Natasha Romanov’s face—Haruka

 

147\. Not allowed to make any Rupaul’s drag race joke in reference to my own career—Haruka

 

148\. Not allowed to the Raja and Carmen lip sync to Haruka again—Michiru

 

149\. Not allowed to compare Michiru’s bed hair to Hermione Granger—Mamoru

 

150\. Sword duels to defend a lady’s honour are henceforth not allowed to use real swords, no matter how much my girlfriend wants to stab someone—Haruka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the lingerie scenes of Usagi do exist...and they are official
> 
> Thankyou for holding out even tho I kinda left this one half done and had a mental breakdown...
> 
> SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME!!
> 
> I have no idea where how the avengers got into this...


	5. Wedding Hells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Why Minako is Never Allowed To Host a Bachelorettes Event Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK ITS TIME FOR DIIIIIINEEEER!
> 
> Guess who’s back in the house? Yaaaassss! It’s me!
> 
> Hello this is YuriNoShoujo and this...is Senshi’s List (of secrets)
> 
> *toungue pop*

101\. Not allowed to ask what the hell happened last chapter—Artemis

102\. No cooking oysters at the engagement party—Makoto

103\. Not allowed to call Mamoru the future “Mr Tsukino”—Rei

104\. Or say he has technically been cheating on me since we never broke up—Rei

105\. It is best not to question how Usagi manages to inspire creativity after she gets the best interior decorator in town to deck out the venue—Ami

106\. No morbid poetry in the wedding speeches—Hotaru

107\. No intense corrections to others’ wedding speeches, even if we had proof that the stars did not align when you both first met—Ami and Setsuna

108\. No listening to racing buddies for bucks night ideas—Haruka

109\. Not allowed to ask Haruka what her racing buddies came up with—Minako

110\. BB Guns, spray paint, flour bombs and Usagi’s cooking are not allowed within a 2 kilometre radius of the wedding venue—Usagi

111\. Ice pick heels are no longer allowed to be worn while dancing to a fast beat in human form—Luna

112\. No crying when told that the wedding cake has been made by professionals—Makoto

113\. No starting a brawl with the groom—Seiya

114\. Sipping tea and just watching Haruka and Mamoru fight Seiya is not appropriate behaviour—Michiru

115\. Not allowed to use Belladonna of Sadness as entertainment for the bachelorette party

116\. I will be a safe distance away from everyone the next time I say we are running at a deadline—Ami

117\. Not allowed to put secret codes into the wedding invites—Setsuna

118\. Don’t whinge when the dressmaker is putting pins in your kimono—Usagi

119\. That was the mother of the bride...not a demon—Rei

120\. Super strength during a pillow fight needs super strong pillows—Makoto

121\. Not allowed to take notes on friends drunkness at the Hen’s Night—Ami

122\. Not allowed to quote senshi adventures/misadventures in wedding speeches—Usagi

123\. Especially any one’s about upskirt sights—Makoto and Minako

124\. Not allowed to change the wedding video to Adult Love XXXL—Minako

125\. Wedding photos will be styled by the photographer, not a pedantic artist—Michiru

126\. Have tissues on standby for Tsukino females (well one in particular) or deal with a veritable flood—Ami

127\. Don’t insult the bridesmaids’ makeup when it was designed by Michiru Kaioh—Yaten

128\. Still not allowed to murder the Starlights—Michiru

129\. Not allowed to lie about Lunarian traditions so the ceremony goes faster—Artemis

130\. Double check that you have the right strippers going to the right events—Minako

131\. Not allowed to use stripper as body model until after the show and you have paid extra—Michiru 

132\. Not allowed to mention that the guy you saw naked (not including yourself) was in the mourgue—Mamoru

133\. Not allowed to waste time asking about the morgue when you should be getting to the hens night—The Nameless Stripper

134\. If a party game was previously banned it stays banned—Minako

135\. Not allowed to steal the Mercury computer to cheat at strip trivial pursuit—Rei

136\. Not allowed to incite Ami’s competitive streak...again—Taiki

137\. Adult truth or dare shall not be played sober...seriously it was really boring until we got alcohol—Minako

138\. Must remember that I can drink more than my friends and not get as drunk—Makoto

140\. No challenging Makoto to a drinking contest—Luna

141\. There is such thing as a too high note during karaoke—Usagi

142\. I solemnly swear that I will never under a Cher song like that again—Makoto

143\. If the wedding prep starts at 8 don’t go to bed at 7–Ami

144\. Don’t run out of coffee on wedding days—Rei

145\. Not allowed to make any self alterations to the bridesmaids dress in hopes of getting a date—Minako

146\. Never use one of Seiya’s pickup lines on Minako, especially not one used on her before—Yaten

147\. No slipping Artemis and Luna catnip to destress them until the reception—Minako

148\. Don’t mess with senshi weddings—A wild Youma Dumb enough to crash the party

149\. Overkill is reserved for outside venues—Rei

150\. Not allowed to scoop up Michiru as she walks down the aisle to marry you—Haruka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author has henceforth been banned from making drag race references. 
> 
> And I totally stole that twist off another work here...the writer of that work owns that twist...now I wish I remember the name of that fic...IT WAS GOOD OK!

**Author's Note:**

> Currently have writers bock on formulating an actual story...so this happened
> 
> I TRIED to keep in character ok...


End file.
